“Could I get a bowl or a plate for the SNACK MIX?” you ask COACH.

“What, are you too good to eat with your hands?” replies COACH, now polishing a pint glass featuring block letters that read “PIG’S EYE  PILSNER” and the face of what looks like a pirate.

You glance around the room. It doesn’t look like anyone else is using bowls or plates either.

“I guess not,” you say as you reach into the bowl of SNACK MIX. As your fingers dig into the greasy MIX, you try not to think about the other hands that had surely reached into the same bowl, and try even harder not to think about what said hands had been doing before reaching into said bowl.

But those thoughts melt away as soon as you taste the SNACK MIX. It’s CRUNCHY. SAVORY. ZESTY. Maybe even a little bit SPICY? Certainly SALTY. Bottom line: it’s GOOD. REALLY GOOD. It’s like if you took only the best parts of GARDETTO’S, CHEX MIX, and maybe some of those weird bulk snack mixes from the hardware store, combined them, and added some sort of seasoning that you can’t quite put your finger on... maybe the seasoning from those little packets meant to be mixed with oil and vinegar to make ITALIAN DRESSING? That doesn’t seem right, but close somehow...

You have a few more handfuls of SNACK MIX. You lick your fingers and immediately regret having done so.

Now what?

Talk to the DART PLAYERS
Talk to the FAMILY FEUD  watchers
Talk to the CYCLISTS
Ask COACH to tell you more about her life