You plop down in the chair. FAMILY FEUD has reached the point in the game where the contestants have to—if you remember the rules correctly, which you probably don’t—come up with a list of nouns that fit within some arbitrary category. Right now, a frazzled-looking father is attempting to name some “animals with rough skin.”

“Rhinoceros! Uh... Pig! Uh... Snake? Uh...  Horned Toad! Uh... Catfish?”

Snake? Catfish? Woof, this guy isn’t going to do well. Though Rhinoceroses and pigs seem like pretty solid answers. 

FAMILY FEUD host STEVE HARVEY looks both amused and disinterested. He’s clearly phoning it in, but his phoned-in vibe is somehow perfect for a cheap gameshow like this. Plus, his ’stache never gets less impressive.

“Survey said...” says HARVEY dramatically for the umpteenth time.

When you were a kid, you thought “Survey” was a person’s name, specifically a person who knew EVERYTHING, from every “animal with rough skin” to “things in a janitor’s closet” to “tater tot dishes.” 

You glance away from the TV. How long have you been watching FAMILY FEUD?  The FEUD VIEWERS are still completely engrossed. Best not to bother them any more than you already have.

You look around the BAR. You can see OTTO waving to you and gesturing towards an open seat at the CYCLISTS’ table.

What do you do?

Talk to the DART PLAYERS
Talk to the CYCLISTS